How Can I Be A Better Parent?

The fact that you're reading this post means that you are to be congratulated.  You are taking your most important responsibility seriously.  You are trying to be a good parent.  You can do this!  We wish that we could just wave a magic wand or teach you three easy steps to parenting.  The reality, however, is that parenting is complex.  It takes time to grasp a new way to see and understand your child and what s/he needs.  It took us years to feel that we had completed our parenting shift.  We hope you will be patient with yourself as you seek a parenting transformation.  You CAN break out of the negative cycles that you inherited from your parents, keep the good, and pass on to the next generation an opportunity for greater happiness. 
 That said, here is where to begin.  The gist of being a good parent is to be able to 1) accurately and compassionately sense your child's emotional state, 2) figure out what s/he needs, and 3) provide it--and do these three things fairly consistently.  It's like trying to be a mind-reader and heart-reader of your child.  The truth is, none of us are completely aware of what we ourselves are thinking, and we are often challenged at figuring out our own emotional needs and knowing how to get those met.  Doing this for another person is even more challenging than doing it for ourselves.  It's basically a guessing game based on watching our child's facial expressions and body language, and decoding our child's unique way of being.  Then we connect with our hearts to our child's emotional state.  We try to understand what it feels like to be him or her at this moment.  Then we use our adult brains to figure out how we might help our child.  This might sound like a lot, just like if we had to describe driving a car or even walking with all their steps.  Luckily, the more you practice, the better you get, and the easier you can do it, and after a while you sometimes do it without even thinking about it.  On this blog, we will post a lot of examples for you to think about.  We'll post questions for you to ponder. Every time you think about parenting, you're developing your capacity to be a better parent! So think about parenting often, and visit us often, and watch yourself transform your parent/child relationship into a joyful bond.